trapped

This last week has been one of the most stressful weeks I have experienced this year. A lot of things happened that were out of my control in both my personal and work life. Lack of control usually results in my anxiety and stress levels increasing drastically. The upside is that I was able to fix the biggest challenge I had this week and I was happy about it.

But here I am, still consumed by all of the same emotions. I feel stressed, nervous, anxious, and sad. All the negative feelings of the week that were in the background, came rushing back.  It literally feels like all these emotions are stuck inside a bubble (my mind) and I can’t figure out how to pop that bubble to release everything.

I feel trapped inside my own mind, replaying all the emotions over and over. This feeling makes me think that I have no control over my life or work.

I further complicate things by letting these emotions pull me down into what I think of as a black hole. In this hole, everything seems like the end of the world. I feel like I am always going to feel this way and that nothing is every going to get better. It is a complete feeling of despair.

I have hope that I’ll find my escape and pop that bubble. Typing these thoughts and words help a lot. It’s a small release for all the million of thoughts and emotions that run back and forth in my mind.

Sometime I really do feel crazy, but I know I’m not. I do feel alone, like no one will understand. But if there is someone out there feeling the same, I hope that you don’t give up. I hold onto the hope that one day it will get better and I wish the same for you too.