I woke up today at 5:40 am, my body is used to the routine of waking up and getting ready for work. I looked at my phone and happily dismissed all the alarms I had set. Today, I am on vacation mode.
I decided to take off almost a week off from work because I was going to be traveling and it was also my birthday. I thought this was a good enough reason to take off so many days. However, it was still hard to even ask for so many days because it was the first time I ever took off so much time from work.
At first, I felt really guilty. It was not good timing to take a vacation, because we were short-staffed. I wondered how work could go on without me or if my assignments would be completed? What if something went wrong and it was my fault? What if my manager becomes upset with me because I am taking off time? All these anxious thoughts almost convinced me to cancel all my plans.
I stopped myself from going down that negative path by taking a step back and taking a deep breath. I realized that work will go on without me and I can’t stop people from having opinions about me. I can only do and think about what is best for me. I need to look out for me. I have to stop caring about those guilty feelings and listen to what my body and mind need.
My body and my mind desperately needed this time off.
I’m on day three of my vacation and I feel so free. I feel like my mind and body are stress-free. At times I do find my mind drifting into thoughts about work, but I push those thoughts away. I have to live in the present.
I need this time to recharge and focus on figuring out what really makes me happy. And it’s working! I’m starting to find my creative inspiration again and the rush of happiness gives me hope.
the happy within 