Tag: hobbies

When my anxiety began to creep in, I started to slowly lose interest in all the things I used to love. I didn’t want to read any more books and I didn’t want to write.

I kept buying books trying to find the “happiness” they used to bring me. I thought by buying them I could feel some sort of joy again, but they all sat in the shelf with dust collecting around them. The novel I had been working on remained unwritten. My dream of becoming an author seemed so far away and seemed impossible.

I didn’t want any of those things anymore. I didn’t want to do it and I didn’t want to think about it. My chest tightened with fear at the thought of either reading or writing. When I did think of them, they seemed like failed dreams.

But how could they be failed dreams if I never really tried to keep them going? The only thing stopping me was myself, so I realized that the only thing I was failing was myself.

I needed to change and now seemed like then perfect time. I was suddenly inspired to be creative and think more creatively. Of course, sudden change did not happen so quickly and I have to admit I judged myself harshly at first. Old habits die hard, but I’m learning to give myself a break if I don’t live up to my own expectations.

So far I’ve managed to keep up with writing my random thoughts on here and it’s helped so much. I’ve also started to ease myself into a creative routine with a planner. I have found so much joy and ease sitting down and just planning my week. Plus I’ve realized that I am obsessed with stickers again. I used to love them as a child and now as an adult.

Slowly but surely I’ll rediscover all the hobbies I used to love. I’ll keep going even if I do fail.