Adulting is definitely hard. But one of the hardest things I’ve found is dealing with loss. When I was young, the biggest painful loss I remember was the death of a pet.
Now, when loss involves a person. It’s a greater pain that sometimes feels unbearable. The thoughts in my head become too negative and desperate. I feel like I experience the loss of a loved one and a little bit of myself.
A lot of people say that loved ones aren’t always gone as long as they remain in your thoughts and in your heart. This is true, but as many things, it is easier said than done.
I experienced a loss recently and I am not sure yet if I’ve managed to cope with the pain. I certainly didn’t think I’d make it this far, but I am still here. But now, another loss is imminent and I find myself back in that headspace.
I lay and I stare at the whiteness of my ceiling with a million thoughts running in and out of my brain. Why me? Why now? Can’t I get a break? Can’t my family get a break?
But then I do remember, that this is life. I have no control and what my thoughts want to do is control the situation. But I will never be able to no matter how much I try.
What I can control is the power I give these thoughts. Yes, loss is hard, painful, and at times it is hard to see the hope. But I hold on strongly to my faith and to my hope. It isn’t bad to feel the pain. It is okay to be sad. It is okay to be hurt, to cry. But, once my tears have dried and my mind has calmed, life will go on. I will go on. And one day, I sincerely believe it will be ok.
For the time being, I will let the emotions be. But I will not give the negativity the power to control me. I will cope.
the happy within 