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Ordinarily my brain is filled with so many thoughts. They roam around the walls of my mind back and forth, popping in and out endlessly. They cause such a flurry of emotions and anxiety throughout the whole day that my mind is in a constant state of restlessness.

Yet, here I sit willing my mind to give my fingers words to type. Something! Anything to release the negativity and ease the stress of these endless thoughts. But its all silent and blank up there.

It’s funny that I can’t express the anxious and restless feelings through writing when I actually make the effort to sit down and focus on just those emotions.

Instead, this is all I can write at this moment.

If I were to visualize my mind now…

It would be like a night sky. Dark, starless, and few crickets cricketing in the background.

It could just be writer’s block? Or it could be that my mind is so calm at this moment, that I am actually at peace and I don’t even know it? If only.

I’m pretty sure it might be the former because the idea of not having anything to say causes me so much anxiety that I know this can’t be what peace feels like.

Instead I think my mind is so used to the darkness of anxiety that it resists any effort to come out. My dark night is good at hiding in the shadows.

Question now is:  how do I find my moon in the dark night of my mind?